How to Deal With Bullying
Bullying is a horrible experience and can happen to anyone at any time in their lives.
But what is bullying?
Bullying is defined by three key points:
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Hostile intent - they want to make you feel bad in some way.
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Power imbalance - they want to make you feel small, or less than them.
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Repetition - they are behaving like this continuously over a period of time.
Bullying can take many forms, and some are much easier to recognise than others:
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Physical, e.g. tripping you over, beating you up etc.
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Verbal, e.g. saying harmful things designed to embarrass or upset you.
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Passive, e.g. purposely ignoring or not including you to make you feel small or not worthy.
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Cyber, e.g. sharing mean comments or images intended to humiliate you or hurt you. This can be both publicly and by DM.
All forms of bullying can be equally harmful, but the most important thing you can do is recognise it for what it is. Bullying.
It can often be difficult knowing what to do when you're being bullied and, as every situation is different, there is no 'one method fits all' either. Having said that, here are some useful things to remember if you find yourself or a friend being bullied, no matter how old you are.
Tell them to stop
This might not always be possible, so only do it if you feel safe enough to do so. Simply say "What you are doing is hurting me and I don't like it, please stop". The bullies might completely ignore you. But they might stop because the didn't realise that their actions were causing so much harm.
Walk away/ignore them
If this bullying is happening in person, try to stay away from them or ignore their behaviour. This is much easier said than done, but often will get bored and stop bullying you. If you are being bullied online, block them or turn off notifications for their profile. The bullying won't work if you can't see it!
Document their behaviour
This is especially important with cyberbullying or bullying that other people might not have seen, such as passive bullying. Take screenshots, make notes on your phone or write it in a notebook, whatever works best for you. This will help hold the bullies accountable for their actions.
Tell someone you trust
The best person to tell is someone more senior to the person who is bullying you, such as your tutor at school, or their manager at work. However, even telling a close friend can make you feel less alone and more supported. Show them the things you've documented and explain to them how it's making you feel. Ask them what they can do to help.
Remember that you are important
Bullying can make you feel physically and emotionally small and worthless. But that doesn't make it true! Nobody deserves to be bullied, and being bullied does not make you weak. It takes a lot of strength and bravery to overcome a bully and you have that inside you. Remember that there are people who love and care about you, and your bully is not one of them!
At its worst, bullying can become dangerous, causing you to experience depression and anxiety. If you are being bullied and you don't know who to talk to, there are several websites and phone numbers that you can call anonymously:
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Childline - 0800 1111
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Victim Support - 08 08 16 89 111