A Guide to Perfectionism - What is Perfectionism? (Part One)

Do you set incredibly high standards for yourself at school or beat yourself up for not getting the best grades in your exams? Do you catch yourself thinking that you are not as intelligent as your peers or feel that your friends and family have high expectations of you? Do you make excuses for not trying a new activity, just because you don’t think you’ll be good at it? 

If you said yes to three or more of the questions above, then chances are that you are a perfectionist. 

What is a perfectionist? 

A “perfectionist” may refer to someone who gives their absolute best at every task to the point of exhaustion.  You may also struggle with recognising your own achievements and talents. Whilst being a perfectionist often attracts praise from your parents or teachers for not being a “lazy teenager”, perfectionism can have a great impact on your ability to learn and your long-term mental health. 

Different types of perfectionism 

There are three main types of perfectionists but it is important to remember that perfectionism, like most mental health issues, is a spectrum. Many people find that they have traits from more than one sub-type, as every individual is different. The sub-types are:

• Self oriented perfectionism - These people set very high standards for themselves, but have been shown to be the most adaptive out of the sub-types. They also show the highest rates of positive emotion and motivation.

• Socially prescribed perfectionism - This type is very self critical, and feels an immense pressure from society rather than themselves, and there is a constant worry of being rejected by their peers . This can lead to bad self-esteem and even anxiety. 

• Other oriented perfectionism - These people hold others to high standards, and can become somewhat judgemental. This may lead to an inability to work in a team which can be very detrimental. 

This may all seem like a lot to take in, and I can hear you saying, “I’m not THAT bad!”. And the truth is, you may not be, but it is always important to keep in mind your mental health, and how your actions may be affecting it; you may not even be aware of some of the more negative things you are doing. There are always ways to help manage the more negative aspects about being a perfectionist, something that I will explore in my next blog post. The most important thing is to become aware of your tendencies - acknowledging the problem is the hardest part of beginning to solve it. Remember, there are always people willing to listen to you and help you, and reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength!