A Guide to Perfectionism - Dealing with Perfectionism (Part Two)

Perfectionism can be incredibly detrimental to your well-being and can even contribute to anxiety or low self esteem. However, there are ways to deal with perfectionism and try and combat the worst parts about it. Remember, everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another!

1. Acknowledge perfectionism

   This is perhaps the most important thing on the list - it is vital to acknowledge that you are a perfectionist in order to change the pattern of your behaviour. If you find yourself saying “I am a failure for not making an ‘A’ in my History exam”, take time to reflect. Chances are your grade on that exam will have little to no impact on what you will do a year from now. Try and keep everything in perspective, and instead focus on the long term - will this single history grade affect me 20 years from now in a significant way?

2. Set strict time limits on your projects and move on once the time is up

   One implication of being a perfectionist is procrastination. If you find yourself constantly procrastinating in finishing an assignment or not studying for an exam for fear of not knowing all  the answers, then set strict time limits for yourself. Apps like Tomato Timer use the Pomodoro technique to overcome procrastination as it breaks your day into 25-minute focus sessions, followed by 5-minute breaks. I have also written a previous blog post about motivation which talks about the ‘Goldilocks rule’ - the best way to keep yourself motivated and stop procrastination is to find tasks that are not too easy but offer a good challenge for you. Check out that post for more tips to battle procrastination! 

3. Be aware of your self-critical nature

   Perfectionists often criticise themselves and pick apart every little achievement. Learn to form more reasonable thoughts for yourself instead of drowning in self-criticism. When you find yourself faced with a less than desirable exam performance or losing a game, force yourself to acknowledge the good outcomes. For example, instead of thinking ‘I failed’ think ‘I am a good person who tried their hardest’. Activities like making promise cards can help remind yourself of your positives. 

4. Set realistic expectations 

   No humans are immune from making mistakes. By setting healthy goals based on your wants or desires, you will slowly overcome being self-critical all the time. For example, you should regularly repeat to yourself that “all I can do is my best!”, or “making a mistake does not mean I’m stupid, all humans make mistakes!”. Although you may not believe in these statements right away, positive reinforcements will help develop a more positive self-perception. Use your ideas and goals as guides of where you want to go rather than absolute goals - this can help you break out of that self critical pattern if you don’t achieve what you wanted to. Maybe you could approach your goals in a different way, or slightly alter your goals to make it more achievable in that time frame. Not having them set in stone gives you this flexibility to stop the self depreciating cycle.

5. Reward yourself

   Lastly, remember to reward yourself. After all, challenging your old ways of working is hard work. It pays to appreciate your own hard work and what more, it is motivating to feel positive about yourself. A reward might include taking time to relax by doing what you enjoy or going out with friends. Positive reinforcement goes a long way!

Whether or not you would describe yourself as a perfectionist, everyone can try and implement some of these ideas in their life at some times or another - there is always space for improvement. Remember, if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it; there are always people willing to help!